Crazy

Wow has it been 2 months since my last update? Damn, and a whole lotta nothin to boot. I guess that's not true it just feels like I've been going through the motions and living for the weekend. And while the weekends have been a blast I just think there should be more. Lets see here...

Since my last entry we have been a little roadblocked in the digital dark room phase of transformation mostly just waiting for things to come in like tiles and a certain kind of molding for the walls, junk like that. It's been pretty hard for me to get motivated to do anything really it was a year ago on November 9th that my Grandmother passed away and a few weeks before and still today I just feel really down. I think I may need to take some time and figure out what the hell I want/need.

Ryan and I have been really good about not letting the crap that's been coming up outside of our relationship cloud him and me and have avoided some really stupid but disrupting arguments that could have come up. On that end of things anyway everything is going as smooth as it can.

Since Halloween things have been interesting on the whole open relationship end of our relationship which in and of itself is just a whole other can of worms. Starting with Halloween We went out that Friday and flirted had fun the whole bit it was cool. Halloween we went to our friend Scotts house(above The Bar on Castro) for his Birthday and all around Halloween fun. As always Scott was awesome and a great hostess=) and while for the most part everything was fun and entertaining things didn't get "interesting" until almost everyone left. Next door to Scotts house outside the kitchen window I see this blinking blue light and then someone yelling "JOSE!!! JOSE!!!" I looked and had no idea who the hell was calling and then as my drunken eyes came into focus I saw that it was my ex boyfriends ex boyfriend and then I called out "Dustin? What the hell are you doing over there?" After some colorful banter he came over and we had a pretty good time chatting and all of course we were all drunk as hell and in some cases high as hell but I ain't naming names. We all decide that we need to go to Ryan's car so he can get a change of pants needless to say the one who comes up with the bright idea has no idea the day after why he has on different pants. Anyway we all get back to Scotts house and head on into his bedroom and after about 10 min I realize that me and Dustin are the only ones in the room so we if memory serves stumble on up and manage to kiss for a second or awhile I can't really remember but I think it was less than a peck but I can't be 100% sure. I just remember thinking did we just kiss that was weird my ex's ex, and then I got over it. I have some pictures that Ryan took that to this day he forgot taking and they're pretty funny I'll post them after I finish. What really weirded me out was seeing Dustin and Derrick making out and I'm not even sure they knew that they were doing it cause after awhile they both passed out and then when I got back from the restroom Dustin was gone and Derrick was asleep in the fetal position(I have pictures.LOL). So that was fun.

Happy belated Birthday Tom!!!

Last weekend was pretty interesting actually it was very interesting on Monday(11/01) I believe, Ryan and I decided to venture into Castro territory which we almost never do without a gaggle of friends to offset the Castro vibe but this time we went alone to Daddy's "Underwear night" and met a really cool guy who bartends there and mostly just chatted with him until closing nothing seedy about that I suppose. LOL.

However a little disclaimer before I go on in any normal journal of mine obviously I wouldn't write this but it has to be said that if anyone knows who I am about to type about please don't go up to him and say anything.

On Friday we went to Daddy's again and after a soso night Buddy came through the door and as usual Ryan and I perk up cause he is just the coolest person you'd ever want to know. We drank a little chatted and we were gonna leave maybe together but we didn't really talk about that prospect. once outside we noticed that an alarm was ringing and then noticed that it was at All American Boy where he works so he goes there and checks the alarm and all the while Ryan and I are outside waiting and after about 10 min or so I start thinking maybe something happened to him or something but then he comes out and says everything is cool we start looking around just in case and I say I have to use the restroom and when I come back I find Ryan and him making out and then his hands down my pants and next thing I know we're all damn near naked suckin and all kinds of stuff until it was just like OK you work here and it ain't doing nothin but getting later so we drop him off at his place. So after lord knows how many months we finally fooled around with Buddy and boy was it worth it.LOL

Then that Saturday I believe we went to Steamworks and ran into Steve an old friend and chatted in the Jacuzzi for awhile and I am going to admit something that won't mean much to most but to those that know who this person is might raise an eyebrow and say "Realllllly" I have always wanted to have sex with Steve and not like the I want him as a boyfriend way but in a friend you've known for awhile and you think is cool but you can never just go up and say "we should have sex" like you...at least I do all the time. I have just always been curious. Anyway that was cool. Last week was going to start off pretty normal with ne real surprises but then Ryan tells me he's quitting his job so we should go out and far be it from me to say no we shouldn't.LOL So on Wednesday we went out and what an eventful night that was We went to The Edge this time and it must be said that I think when I am drunk i can get a bar full of people to sing anything I introduced myself to a few guys and after about 5 min I had them singing Spandau Ballet "I KNOW THIS MUCH IS TRUUUUUUE AHHAHAHAAAHA...TRUE!!!"

That is when the fun began This really, really drunk guy starts grabbing my ass and squeezing it now mind you I'm a little tipsy myself so it took me a minute to notice and I have a big ass ta boot so I turn around and I see this hazy eyes middle aged but cute guy swaying to and fro with a goofy grin and I say "You do realize you don't know me right?" and he sways a little spills his martini a little and says slurringly " Oh but I do...I've know you forever. I've just never had the courage to say anything before."

So then I say "Oh really? Well then what's my name?"

He looked past my eyes bobbed a little and muttered "Love"

Now mind you I enjoy drunken ramblings as much as the next guy but this guy took the cake, actually he took the rum cake...home then ate it and then came back for more. I had no words so I just let him continue to feel my ass and give me drunk butterfly kisses to the amusement of Ryan. After awhile we ran into Tom from My Place and a friend of his and my drunken lover went to tend to his newly broken hearted boyfriend who incidently I thought was cuter. So after awhile we're all chatting and I completely forgot about the guy George was his name BTW. and then like a phoenix rising from the liquor bottles he arose at this point Ryan left with Tom to the ATM so there I am a little drunker and this guy is gone and now he's startin to look cute to me so we start making out and after awhile I notice he's groping me but from a weird angle so I look at his hand and notice that they are huge...and black??? I follow first the fingers then the hand then the wrist on up until I see this huge Mandingo lookin guy just smiling like a kid caught stealing I managed to nicely maneuver myself away from his ginormous paw and then Drunk lover starts groping me and slips his hands down my pants and so I return the favor not planning on being impressed but what a nice surprise he was hung.Yaay me. But that ended and Ryan and I went outside and decided to go home. Thursday we came out to Daddy's and Ran into Leon of My Place Leon and Pablo unfortunately Leon informed me that they broke up is it wrong that at that moment all I could think of was finding Pablo's number? I don't have anything at all against Leon I was just always closer to Pablo. Mikey came out and as usual we had a blast I love hanging out with my Mikey he's so cool. That Friday We went back to Daddy's and Ran into Buddy we ended up going back to his place and having some of the most triple x rated sex I think we've had in awhile there was no set rhythm it was just mouths and ass and dick and straddling and noises and...Yeah it was a lot of fun. That Saturday we went with Mikey,Danny,Gerren and Jeff to see The Incredibles My new favorite movie of all time love,love,love that movie. We all went out had a great time.

Before I go I just wanted to send my condolences out to Cip who suffered a big loss recently. I got your Cip-mail and I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. I think it's odd that every so often a death reminds us that life IS, as cliche as it sounds precious and that judging people,hating people for whatever reason is so unimportant in the grand scheme of things. I just wanted to say to all of my friends that I love,cherish and thank god (whenever it comes to mind =) that you are all in my life. Jose